Link and Friends
by Naitael
Summary: Series of oneshots about the antics of Link and his friends. OoT setting. Possible future pairings. Each chapter is its own oneshot, though... I'll make a better summary later... T for future content!
1. Attack of the Cuccos

Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda

Story Description: This one takes place when Link and Malon are both young, probably 10ish or so, I don't know. I thought it was cute. I loved making these things mad in the game.

Link was facing a new enemy, possibly the most dangerous one he had ever faced. He stared into his enemy's coal-black eyes, feeling sweat break out on his forehead and upper lip.

His enemy made a strange screeching sound, and stepped forward twice.

Link backed up nervously. _I'm almost pinned against the wall!_

The enemy scratched its talons against the ground, spreading its wings and hissing at Link.

Link saw his sword, leaning against the barn wall. _Too far… I'd never make it!_

The thing raised its head to the sky, stretching its white neck, and crowed. Then, the Cucco flung itself towards Link in a frenzy of pecking and scratching.

Link turned and ran, but a lot of the Cucco's friends appeared out of nowhere, and he was engulfed in a flock of them.

"AAaaAah!" He screamed, running around with his arms held over his head.

Malon, hearing a lot of squawking, followed by Link's scream, looked out of her bedroom window to find Link hunched over on the ground with his arms clasped, letting the shield slung over his back take most of the Cucco's pecking.

She ran outside and swiftly whistled Epona's Song. The Cuccos, with one final peck at Link, flew off.

"Link! Were you using the Cuccos for target practice again?!


	2. Catfight!

Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda

Story Origins: Heh, I was researching for my other Zelda fanfic, Destiny, and I came across a list of all the people that liked Link or had expressed interest in him at one point or another. Soooo…. What if they all tried to fight for Link's love?

* * *

"AAAAH! You're pulling my hair!" Zelda screamed.

"That's the point!" Malon yelled back.

Ruto splashed more mud on both of them, making them let go of each other and try to wipe their eyes. Nabooru tackled her and pinned her on the ground. Saria leaped on top and started yanking Nabooru's hair.

All five of them were covered in mud, and one could barely tell who was who (except Ruto, the only non-human member of the catfight). Navi swooped agitatedly above them, crying out, "Hey! Hey! Stop fighting! Hey!" over and over again.

The fight moved closer to the water's edge, until finally all five participants were in the shallows of the lake. The water turned muddy as the girls splashed water at each other, the dirt running off their bodies. Link watched in fascination at the giant catfight over him.

* * *

It had all started with Link inviting all of his friends to have a picnic near the lake. Ruto hadn't actually been invited, but she happened to be swimming in the lake at the time, and joined them. It had been a wonderful lunch. Saria had brought fresh vegetables from the Lost Woods, Malon brought different kinds of cheese from the farm, Nabooru brought some of the Thieves' rum, Ruto had caught some fish, and Zelda had brought some cold ham from the castle's kitchen, since Malon and her father did not slaughter their livestock for food.

Nabooru, being a Gerudo teenager, hadn't thought twice about bringing rum for herself and several of her friends, all of whom were younger than she. Link and Zelda were 15, Malon was 14, Ruto was 16, and Saria was also 16, though she had the physique of a 10-year-old. Due to her position as a Sage, her mind matured, though.

Needless to say, even though the rum Nabooru had grabbed was not one of their strongest, the gang soon became very tipsy, except for Link, who had been too busy filling his teenage boy's appetite _(my brother is 14, and he can eat an entire pizza by himself! And he only weighs like 130lbs…)_. Malon started talking about some guy that she liked, and Zelda questioned her, only to find out that it was Link. So she and Malon started arguing loudly, while Ruto tried to tell Saria that Link was her fiancé. Saria, normally a passive girl, pushed Ruto, who bumped into Zelda.

Zelda pushed Ruto back, and soon the four of them were fighting. Nabooru grabbed a bucket from nearby and scooped some water up from the lake. She dumped it over the girls, who pulled her into the fight.

* * *

Navi got tired of trying to yell at them to stop, so she floated over to where Link was sitting, entranced by the girls' antics. _I've never seen Zelda this angry, not even when we were fighting Ganondorf. I like it! …But ooh, Nabooru's got such a toned body, and she's so in control… But Malon has a strong body, too, from working on the ranch, and you've gotta love a fiery redhead! But Saria's not doing too bad, either, too bad she'll always look like she's 10 years old… And Ruto… ehh, even a catfight can't make me attracted to her._

"Aren't you going to stop them?!" Navi swooped around Link's head.

"No… why would I stop them? This is awesome!"

Navi flew at his face, bashing into him again and again. "Okay! Okay! Yeesh, Navi, calm down, I'll go stop… hey…"

Link's head turned towards a beautiful girl walking towards the fisherman's hut. She wore a small skirt and a sleeveless top, showing off luscious curves. She looked over at Link, her raven hair flowing in the wind, and flashed pearly white teeth at him.

Link got up and ran to introduce himself. "Hi! I'm Link. May I ask what your name is?"

"I'm Isabella. I have come to visit my father, he owns the fishing pond."

"Isabella…" Link murmured. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

"Are you _the_ Link, the Hero of Time?" she asked.

"Yes I am." Link puffed out his chest slightly.

"Oh wow! I have always wanted to meet you. I am such a big fan…" Isabella moved closer to Link, gazing seductively into his eyes.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes…" she breathed, placing both hands on his chest.

Nabooru looked up from the fight, to see Link lip-locked with another girl. "Hey, hey, guys, look at Link."

Zelda stared angrily at him, her blood starting to boil. "GET HIM!!!!!!!!!"

The girls stormed as one up the hill. They grabbed Link and hoisted him on their shoulders. He protested loudly and squirmed, but could not get away.

Malon couldn't resist giving Isabella a shove before they left. "Back off wench! We called him first!"

The girls ran, screaming and hooting, towards the pier by the lake.

* * *

A few hours later, twilight had set in, and the girls sat around a campfire, eating some of the leftovers from lunch and some fresh fish from Ruto. Navi perched on Saria's shoulder, snoring softly. They chatted nicely and drank water from the lake instead of rum.

An unconscious Link was tied securely to a post at the end of the pier, and had been stripped of his clothing. He had several bumps and swellings on his head. A curious crow landed on the top of the post and pecked Link's head. Link awoke. "Wha… where… where are my clothes?! Hey, it's cold out here! Are you listening? Look, I'm sorry, okay? She kissed me first!!! GUYS?!"

A thoroughly exhausted Malon sipped some water and patted Link's neatly folded clothing beside her. "Boys are such jerks."

"You said it!" Zelda agreed.


End file.
